The Myth of 'Bad' Sleep Habits
The Myth of 'Bad' Sleep Habits: What the Latest Science Says About Infant and Toddler Sleep
As parents, few topics cause as much confusion, worry, or unsolicited advice as sleep. From the moment your baby is born, you’re likely bombarded with opinions about how they should sleep , often laced with warnings about "bad habits."
“Don’t rock them to sleep.”
“Don’t let them feed to sleep.”
“You’ll make a rod for your own back.”
Sound familiar? But what does the science actually say? Modern research into infant sleep, brain development, and responsive parenting tells a very different story. One where "bad" habits are often biologically normal, developmentally appropriate, and essential for your child's emotional security.
In this blog, I’ll bust the myth of "bad" sleep habits and explore what the latest evidence says about supporting your baby’s sleep in a responsive, nurturing way.
Where Did the Idea of "Bad" Sleep Habits Come From?
The concept of "bad" sleep habits largely stems from outdated, adult-centric views of infant sleep shaped by early 20th-century behaviourist approaches that promoted rigid routines and discouraged parental responsiveness.
These ideas fail to consider:
The immature nature of an infant's sleep system
The role of co-regulation in emotional development
The evolutionary need for proximity and safety at night
In contrast, responsive parenting, supported by extensive developmental research, recognises that babies rely on caregivers to help them regulate their nervous system, emotions, and sleep cycles.
What the Latest Research Says About Infant Sleep
1. Infant Sleep is Naturally Fragmented and Variable
A growing body of research confirms that fragmented sleep, frequent waking, and seeking comfort are biologically normal in infancy and toddlerhood.
A 2021 systematic review in Nature and Science of Sleep found:
- Night waking is a protective factor, reducing risks like Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
- Variability in sleep patterns can persist well into toddlerhood
- Parental responsiveness at night supports healthy emotional and neurological development
2. Feeding, Rocking, and Contact Sleep Are NOT "Bad Habits"
Feeding or rocking to sleep, contact napping, and co-sleeping (when done safely) are biologically normal practices seen across cultures. Rather than creating dependency, these behaviours:
- Foster secure attachment
- Support emotional regulation
- Reduce stress for both baby and caregiver
Neuroscientific research shows that close contact and parental responsiveness activate calming pathways in the infant brain, lowering cortisol (stress hormone) levels and promoting better long-term sleep regulation.
Are You "Making a Rod for Your Own Back"?
One of the most persistent myths is that responding to your baby’s needs, whether through rocking, feeding to sleep, or cuddling, creates "bad habits" that will be hard to break.
But here's what developmental science tells us:
Infants lack the cognitive maturity to form manipulative behaviours
Habits in infancy are not permanent, as your child’s brain develops, their sleep patterns naturally evolve
Responsive caregiving builds trust, emotional security, and eventually, independence
Put simply: meeting your child’s needs now does not mean they will rely on those same strategies forever. In fact, research shows that children with responsive parents tend to develop better emotional regulation, resilience, and self-settling over time.
Responsive Parenting and Sleep: The Science-Backed Approach
Responsive parenting aligns with our understanding of infant sleep development:
Babies wake for valid biological reasons: hunger, discomfort, reassurance
Caregiver proximity and comfort reduce infant stress and promote secure attachment
Emotional safety lays the foundation for independent sleep when developmentally ready
The American Academy of Paediatrics, UNICEF, and numerous sleep experts now advocate for responsive, nurturing approaches to infant sleep, emphasising safety, connection, and respecting developmental readiness.
Busting Common "Bad Habit" Myths
Myth and What Research Shows
Feeding to sleep causes sleep problems - Feeding to sleep is developmentally normal and calming for infants; not harmful when done responsively.
Rocking to sleep prevents self-settling - Rocking meets regulatory needs; self-settling develops naturally over time.
Solids offered at sleepy times - Offer solids during your child's most alert periods. Save milk for pre-nap and bedtime routines
Co-sleeping always creates dependence - Safe co-sleeping can support bonding and sleep; dependence is not inevitable.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Creating "Bad Habits" You’re Meeting Needs
Infant sleep is complex, non-linear, and deeply connected to emotional development. Labelling biologically normal behaviours as "bad habits" undermines parental confidence and contradicts modern science.
By tuning into your child’s cues, responding with warmth, and understanding sleep as a developmental journey, you’re not creating problems, you’re laying the groundwork for long-term emotional security and healthy sleep.
So, the next time someone warns you about "bad habits," remember: the latest evidence is on your side. Responsive, connected parenting is never a mistake, it's the foundation for thriving, well-rested children in the long run.
To learn more about baby and toddler sleep check out our current courses.
References
Schoch, S. F., Kurth, S., et al. (2021). Sleep in infancy and early childhood: Normative data, developmental trajectories, and influencing factors. Nature and Science of Sleep, 13, 133–149.
Ball, H. L. (2022). Parent-infant sleep: Evolution, ecology, and culture. Current Opinion in Psychology, 43, 159-165.
Feldman, R., et al. (2019). The neurobiology of human caregiving: Oxytocin and the parental brain. Current Opinion in Psychology, 26, 105-111.
Middlemiss, W., Granger, D. A., et al. (2021). Responsive parenting, cortisol regulation, and infant sleep. Developmental Psychobiology, 63(6), e22141.
McKenna, J., & Gettler, L. T. (2020). There is no such thing as infant sleep, there is no such thing as breastfeeding sleep, there is only mother-infant sleep. Acta Paediatrica, 109(9), 1716-1727.
American Academy of Paediatrics (2022). Safe Sleep Guidelines.