Sensitive Children
Sensitive Children: Understanding Their Needs and Nurturing Their Strengths
Every child is unique, but some children experience the world more intensely than others. You might notice your child is easily overwhelmed by noise, picky about clothing textures, or deeply affected by changes in routine. These children are often described as “sensitive,” and this sensitivity can show up in many different ways, from sensory needs to personality differences and even traits linked to neurodivergence. Understanding sensitive children isn’t about labelling them; it’s about recognising their individual needs and helping them thrive.
What Do We Mean by a “Sensitive Child”?
A sensitive child may:
React strongly to sensory input (bright lights, loud sounds, scratchy clothes).
Show heightened emotional responses, from big joy to big sadness.
Notice details others overlook.
Find transitions and changes harder to manage.
This sensitivity can stem from different factors, some biological, some neurological, and some rooted in personality traits.
Sensory Needs and Sensory Processing
Some children have differences in the way they process sensory input. This is often referred to as Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) or, in some cases, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). These children may be sensory seekers (craving extra movement or touch) or sensory avoiders (finding everyday sensations overwhelming).
Supporting sensory needs doesn’t mean shielding children from the world but offering them tools and environments where they feel safe. For example:
Using noise-reducing headphones in loud spaces.
Allowing clothing choices that feel comfortable.
Creating calm, predictable routines.
Neurodivergence and Sensitivity
Sensitivity is also common in children who are neurodivergent. For example:
Autistic children may process sensory input differently, leading to sensory overload.
Children with ADHD may feel emotions more intensely and find regulation challenging.
Highly anxious children may be hyper-aware of their surroundings.
Understanding sensitivity through a neurodivergent lens helps parents respond with compassion rather than discipline. A child melting down in a noisy supermarket isn’t “being difficult” they may be overwhelmed by lights, sounds, and crowds.
The Orchid and Dandelion Metaphor
Paediatrician Thomas Boyce introduced the “orchid and dandelion” hypothesis to describe how children respond differently to their environments:
Dandelion children are hardy and adaptable. They can thrive in a wide range of environments, even less nurturing ones.
Orchid children are more sensitive. They struggle in harsh or stressful conditions but can thrive beautifully in nurturing, supportive environments.
This metaphor reframes sensitivity as a potential strength. Orchids may need more careful tending, but given the right conditions, they often bloom with creativity, empathy, and resilience.
How Parents Can Support Sensitive Children
Recognise triggers – Tune in to your child and observe what overwhelms them and try to reduce unnecessary stressors.
Offer predictable routines – Structure helps sensitive children feel safe and secure.
Validate feelings – Instead of saying “don’t be silly, its not a big deal” try “I can see that noise is really loud for you. Lets move away from it.”
Create calming strategies – Breathing exercises, quiet corners, or fidget toys can help with regulation.
Celebrate strengths – Sensitive children are often deeply empathetic, observant, and creative.
When to seek support
While many sensitive traits are simply part of your child’s personality, there are times when seeking extra help can make a real difference. If your child’s sensitivity is causing ongoing distress, making daily routines unmanageable (such as refusing school due to sensory overload), or affecting their sleep, eating, or social relationships, it’s worth reaching out for support. Your GP, health visitor, or school SEN team can guide you towards assessments and services such as occupational therapy, child psychology, or neurodevelopmental pathways. Remember: asking for help isn’t a sign something is “wrong” it’s a way to make sure your child has the tools they need to thrive.
Final thoughts
Raising a sensitive child may sometimes feel like hard work, walking on eggshells, and never getting things right but sensitivity is not a weakness, it’s a different way of experiencing the world. With understanding, patience, and the right support, sensitive children can flourish and use their unique perspectives as a strength. Think of your child as an orchid: yes, they may need more careful nurturing, but when supported, they can bloom in extraordinary ways.
Need More Support?
We cover topics like responsive parenting and managing toddlers emotions in our expert-led courses for babies and toddlers. If you’d like guidance that’s evidence-based and parent-friendly, check out our courses or for more personal support our 1:1 coaching.
References
Aron, E. N., & Aron, A. (1997). Sensory-processing sensitivity and its relation to introversion and emotionality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(2), 345–368.
Boyce, W. T., & Ellis, B. J. (2005). Biological sensitivity to context: I. An evolutionary–developmental theory of the origins and functions of stress reactivity. Development and Psychopathology, 17(2), 271–301.
Boyce, T. (2019). The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive. London: Macmillan.
Green, D., Chandler, S., Charman, T., Simonoff, E., & Baird, G. (2016). Parent-reported sensory symptoms in children with autism spectrum disorder: Evidence for multiple distinct subtypes. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46(1), 121–129.
Lionetti, F., Aron, A., Aron, E. N., Burns, G. L., Jagiellowicz, J., & Pluess, M. (2018). Dandelions, tulips and orchids: Evidence for the existence of low-sensitive, medium-sensitive and high-sensitive individuals. Translational Psychiatry, 8(1), 24.
National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE). (2017). Autism spectrum disorder in under 19s: recognition, referral and diagnosis (NICE Guideline CG128). Retrieved from: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg128
National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE). (2018). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: diagnosis and management (NICE Guideline NG87). Retrieved from: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87
Pluess, M., Assary, E., Lionetti, F., Lester, K. J., Krapohl, E., Aron, E. N., & Aron, A. (2018). Environmental sensitivity in children: Development of the Highly Sensitive Child Scale and identification of sensitivity groups. Developmental Psychology, 54(1), 51–70.
Royal College of Occupational Therapists (RCOT). (2021). Occupational therapy and sensory integration: Supporting children and young people. London: RCOT.
Tomchek, S. D., & Koenig, K. P. (2016). Occupational therapy practice guidelines for individuals with autism spectrum disorder. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 70(5), 7005397010p1–7005397010p48.